Why adults have affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on since old ages. Extramarital affairs can be burdened with problems, cause sorrow, and other problems. In addition you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness issue, funds, age dissimilarity, religious background, shame, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I should define an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, lonely wife looks for dating.
Why do people have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seek affair. I think generally though it is only the human nature, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and fun, and sex makes us get away the real world for a small period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody can switch the craving on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos society has erected against affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but society as well. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is very pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your family or anyone else? You will need to lessen the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest grouping, enormous really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they are comfy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to consider. Your assets are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay jointly besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An affair at times solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage intact.
Avoidance, sorrowfully this is a common cause I fear. One or the other, frequently the male is sexually neglecting his female for a tones of reasons. As a man I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us guys of romance, making them “hot milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be compassion is not here, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have just grown apart, our general concerns diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposite of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.